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Tuesday, July 06, 2004
am i the only one?

There is no good reason 
I should have to be so alone
I'm smothered by this emptiness
Lord I wish I was made of stone
Like a fool I lent my soul to love
And it paid me back in change
God, help me 
Am I the only one who's ever felt this way?

A heart that's worn and weathered
Would know better then to fight
But I wore mine like a weapon
Played out love like a crime
And it wrung me out and strung me out 
And it hung years on my face
God, help me,
Am i the only one who's ever felt this way?

Now my sense of humor needs a break
I see a shadow in the mirror 
And she's laughing through her tears
One more smile is all I can fake

There is a wound inside me 
And it's bleeding like a flood
There's times when I see a light ahead
Hope is not enough.
And another night surrounds me 
And it pounds me like a wave
God, help me, 
Am i the only one who's ever felt this way?
God, help me, 
Am i the only one who's ever felt this way?

Posted at 04:58 pm by xOxAndIExOx
gas me up  

Sunday, July 04, 2004
no shining cowboy's belt buckles

hey y'all! man it's been a long fricken weekend, i only got like...11 hrs of sleep in the last 48 hrs. (( TASHIA--YOUR COMMERCIALS ON!! 867-5309!!)) lol, so thats not working all too well. well lets see, i'll start from...Friday.

Laurie picked me up and dad gave her some rules. 1) no bus full of guys. 2) no shining cowboys belt buckles...if you know what i mean and 3) no drinking. lol. so then we're like o..we're SOL we might as well stay home. we headed to her house, brandy came over and we left for the
manawa rodeo. so yeah...we were about an hour er so late for that cause .. laurie got off of work late. we saw some pretty hot ... cowboys : ) save a horse...rida a cowboy...: ) when we were heading up to manawa...we stopped at burger king in new london. i was doing scratch offs on the backseat, and i got the word pad on the crossword, so i was like i got pad! and then i was like wait...I GOT PADS!!! lol, so when we drove up to the window, the guy was kinda like...weidos. it was great. i wouldn't mind going back to the rodeo next year...lol....maybe we'll camp out!

after that, we were heading home and we went to hotrodz cause we knew mom and dad would be there, and i walked in first and i had beads around my neck, and dad was like WTF are you doing here? and then i walked over by mom, and she grabbed the beads and was like whered you get these? and i was like...wouldn't you like to know? and she grabbed them tighter and i was like...LAURIE'S car! lol. so after that we left, and went to the corner bar, and did a little kareoke. ( sp? ) and i drove cause i was the designated driver : ) we decided to go to perkins, in GB so i did. i drove there,and back so i really got some night hrs. i swear...the after hours group at perkins, we're all GAY! lol. i'e serioulsy never seen so many gay guys. lol. we got home at about 3, and went straight to bed!

uncle butch woke us up, at about 8.30 and told us to go get pooper, she was on the side of the road, right by the "S" curve. we went to get her, and he intestines were all...over and out. but we picked her up and brought her to the woods. then we picked up some hay for the horses, and then ... went up nort. we got there, and i've never seen so many...cars! lol. traffic on 41 was terrible. we were going through coleman, and there was like a stop light and there were like...a mile and a half of cars. and that was in front of us, there was about another..LOT of cars behind us. after coleman, she pulled over and let me drive the rest of the way. we blew up the water trampoline, and jenny, aaron, laurie and i jumped on in, it was fun, but it wasn't filled all the way so that sucked. we went up and dinked around, deflated the trampoline, and left. i drove home...just about fell a fricken sleep! laurie did..lol. we got home, and it was about...6. we took a nap and then at like 8.30 we woke up ate. and at like 9 dewayne called and said we should go over to tony's house and watch the fireworks. so laurie got in the shower..i got all dolled up, and so yeah..we headed out there. that was pretty fun. i brought jessie over to lawn road because she wanted to see her boyfriend...( more night hrs ) we got back and then headed to lauries house to get some beer and alcohol...i was the designated driver...once again! they also got roman candles, and on the way back to tony's house they ( dewayne and tony ) decided that they were gonna shoot them out the windows. so they had me drive with my fingers on the window roller-down and when they said window! window! i was to open them. lol. it was pretty cool. then we went driving throught the cemetery....tony drove from the back, and i was doing the pedals. it was funny. then we made a beer run, out to .. skunk hill, and i almost fell out the door, cause there was a step...i didn't know about it...i've never been there! i drove back to tonys house and we decided to party in the barn because everyone was asleep in the house. dewayne pulled his truck in the barn and tony went and got his bball hoop. it started out 2-on-2, me and laurie against dewayne and tony...but then ended up with 1-on-1, just me and tony. it was pretty fun! laurie and dewayne kept disappearing, and yeah. laurie also kept reminding me that i should stay away from tony. but yeah. i went to do a pop-a-squat and they all stood in the doorway like they've never seen a girl do that...but then i fell in the mudd so my hands were all muddy. but yeah..then we went to perkins in appleton, we picked up brandy, and she drove....and i had to sit in the back between tony and dewayne. and laurie was giving me nasty looks because i wasn't stayin away from tony....we got to perkins at about...3. there were a lot of people there, and it was pretty loaded. i felt kinda...scuzzy cause i was dirty from the bball we played earlier. but it was ok. i got some chicken crisps, and i only ate one! lol. i packed up the rest, and we left. we brought  tony and dewayne back to tony's first...and then i got the bitching of a lifetime. but yeah...lets just leave it at that. we brought brandy back, and got home around 4.30. then went straight to bed. uncle butch woke me up at 6.00 cause he was talking...and from there, i woke up about 8 times. finally, laurie woke up at 11.45 and she brough home, and here i am. well thats about the extent of my weekend. i'll talk to y'all on the flip side.


Posted at 01:24 pm by xOxAndIExOx
gas me up  


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